My Breathing Space
by Nille815
Summary: "Did he say anything?" I ask him as I lower myself to the ground beside him, breaking the ongoing silence between us. My voice is raspy, as if I were the one who had almost been choked to death. J/K "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues"


A/N: One of my older ones. Just a little something from Kate's POW at the end of "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" one of my fave eppies btw ;)  
Disclaimer: Still don't own anything...

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We struggle, but eventually make it back to the caves just as the sun sets. Charlie hasn't spoken a word since Jack brought him back from the dead, and neither have we. But our shared silence is broken when the first people spot us and soon we're surrounded by fellow survivors all asking the same questions. I don't hear their voices, everything is just a blur of faces and activity and I silently plead them in my head to back away, to give Charlie space. To give us time to breathe. Jack speaks up, but to me it sounds like he's a million miles away, the others seem to react and finally they take in the bruises on Charlie's neck, the defeat in our eyes and the dried up tears on my cheeks.

We are let through the crowd and as Jack takes a more firm hold on Charlie and leads him over to a nearby fire, I slip away. I share a brief look with Jack before I go, silently promising him that I won't be long. I hurry as I change out of my muddy clothes, thankful that the inside of my backpack has stayed relatively dry. Afterwards I make my way to the waterfall, and try not to tremble too much as I dip my hands in the cool water and wash my face, my neck and my hands. The rest of the cave dwellers seem to have calmed down some, but there are worried murmurs all around me. I register Jack's insisting but soothing tones and the world around me finally seems to clear as my heart slows and my breathing returns to normal.

I return to Jack's side with a blanket and beckon for him to take a break from watching Charlie. He's still not saying a word and as I settle down besides him he doesn't seem to notice me at all, not even when I wrap the blanket around him. A sigh escapes Jack as he stands to leave and I know he doesn't want to go. He talks briefly with Hurley before disappearing around a corner. I hate to admit it, but I instantly tense when he's out of sight. We've been through hell and back today and I can't shake the feeling that it's not over yet. When he returns with a makeshift glass filled with water and hands it to me, I relax slightly and offer him a smile in thanks. He settles down next to Charlie and we both look up when Michael enters the caves and Walt runs to hug his dad. Thankfully Hurley explains the situation and we focus on Charlie again. I tug the blanket a little closer around him and caress his hair as if he was a little boy. I timidly sip the water but down the whole glass quickly as I realise how dry my throat is. I still don't know what to say.

As I stand to refill the glass for Charlie, it dawns on me that neither Locke nor Boone is back yet. Shannon approaches me, the worried look in her eyes almost breaking my resolve, but I hold strong and try to comfort her as best as I can. I've never really liked this girl, but my heart breaks for her when she's unable to hold a lone tear back. I awkwardly pat her back and try a smile for her and I feel slightly better when I get one in return. I do believe what I tell her, but after today I'm not so sure anyone of us is really safe. When she leaves I linger a couple of minutes by the waterfall, just breathing.

Charlie has somehow managed to fall asleep when I return to the campfire. He's resting fitfully as if trapped in a bad dream and my heart aches for him. Jack is staring into the fire, his brow furrowed in frustration and with a wince I notice the red and purple bruises beginning to form on his face.

"Did he say anything?" I ask him as I lower myself to the ground beside him, breaking the ongoing silence between us. My voice is raspy, as if I were the one who had almost been choked to death.

He slowly looks at me and nods, "Yeah… But he doesn't remember much." His voice is as frustrated as his eyes and I instantly get the feeling that he would still be out there, looking for Claire, if it hadn't been for Charlie's condition. I shudder at the thought.

"Will he be okay?" I ask, desperate for his reassurance.

He shakes his head and returns his gaze to the fire as he answers me, "I don't know… He doesn't seem to have any trouble breathing, but who knows what they did to them out there?"

"_They?_" I'm unable to keep the fear out of my voice.

"Charlie said there was more than one…" Jack explains, disbelief written all over his face.

It's like something out of a horror movie, I think to myself as the silence envelops us once again. Monsters and strange people running around the jungle, obviously meaning us harm. They've kidnapped one of us and left one for dead. Unconsciously I scoot a little closer to Jack, and as I do I notice that the cut above his left eye is bleeding again.

"You're bleeding…" I whisper to him.

He starts as if shaken from a dream and looks at me, a puzzled look on his face. "What?"

"Your cut." I explain, gesturing to his face.

Understanding dawns on his face and he reaches for his backpack and pulls out some cloth and rips a little piece from it. He pours a bit of peroxide over it, but before he can bring it to his face, I take it from him. "Let me."

I cup his jaw gently in my hand and he smiles a little in thanks as he gives in and lets me apply pressure to the gash.

"Sorry." I whisper sheepishly when a tiny hiss escapes him. He chuckles lightly in response and closes his eyes. And just for a moment I allow myself to forget all the horrible things we've been put through today. All the anger, hopelessness, guilt, sadness and fear I've felt and seen today just fades away as I concentrate instead on the feeling his close proximity evokes in me.

I've only known Jack for a little more than two weeks, yet it feels like this… This _stranger_ in front of me has always been with me. I tied myself to him on that first crazy day with every stitch I made in his back. And the bond that formed between us has grounded me and given me comfort in this place that at times seems bereft of hope. In reality he's a complete stranger, but when he looks at me in a certain way or smiles or laughs; I'm home.

He shifts a little and I'm broken from my trance. Heat rushes to my cheeks and I'm glad his eyes remain closed. Light from the torches and fires flicker around us in the soft darkness as people begin to settle in for the night. I'm not going back to beach tonight; I'm not ready to face the unknown hiding in the jungle or leave Jack and Charlie behind here. I smile as I realise that Jack probably wouldn't let me go even if I tried.

His cut's not bleeding anymore, but I remain where I am because I still need the distraction of my feelings. When he opens his eyes and focuses them on me, I know he feels it too.

"You okay?" He whispers, his voice laced with concern.

I swallow against the burning lump in my throat, and give him what I know for sure to be a watery smile as I can't stop the tears from brimming.

"You?" I force out around the lump. I get no reply except a moment of vulnerability in his eyes, a quick flash of unknown sorrows I have yet to discover that this day triggered in him.

I release him from my hold, but find his hand instead and give it a gentle squeeze, "We'll find her." I promise him, fully intending to do whatever it takes.

He nods at my words, determination and maybe even hope in his eyes as he closes his fingers around mine. I shift away and settle beside him, but neither of us lets go of the other's hand. I look at our entwined fingers and take a deep calming breath.

"We'll find her." He echoes my words. And I believe him.

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_Ahhh how I love season 1... I Hope you guys enjoyed it ;) oh and thanks for all the reviews on my other stories, you guys are the best!_


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